PHNOM PENH – Getting married has become a sensitive topic. Many young people, particularly in cities, avoid such questions, taking a trendier approach by postponing or putting off marriage altogether. 

This shift stems from societal changes, increasing knowledge, mounting financial pressures, and evolving mindsets. 

While there are concerns about delaying marriage, social observers and young people believe that marrying too early or too late is not an issue. What truly matters is their ability to engage in social development and their readiness to build a responsible family.

Among those choosing to delay marriage, Keo Solina, a high school teacher in Phnom Penh, believes marriage is a secondary option because she has many priorities.

“Taking time for myself is a priority, and I want to focus on my higher education and leave family matters for later,” Solina said.

However, her higher education in Thailand has further distanced her from family plans.

 “The higher I study, the further I see and think deeper. Regarding marriage, we are less prepared and less willing to take risks. We feel that our lives do not end with family. More importantly, I think I could lose my freedom,” Solina said. 

While education has helped her see more of the world and put more value on freedom and personal choices, her current priority is spending time with her family.

Pol Seangheng, 32, a senior risk assessment manager at a private company in Phnom Penh, said that the level of education is the most significant factor influencing his and most young people’s decisions about marriage.

“We are different from previous generations. We have many options that they did not have,” he said. 

“After finishing high school, we can now continue our education. If we get married, we risk losing the opportunity to develop ourselves,” Seangheng said, noting that starting a family before continuing education can be challenging.

According to Seangheng, higher education helps people understand issues such as gender equality and personal freedom, inspiring them to make their own decisions. That is why personal growth and independence go beyond having children.

Broadening Knowledge, Heightening Financial Strain

Kong Vibol, a PhD student in social work concentrating on mental health at Saint Louis University in the US, agrees that social changes, education and individual and family factors are motivating young people, particularly in urban areas, to change the timing of marriage.

“Each individual needs maturity in developing skills and education, which are valuable for increasing their income and creating a legacy for future generations. This could be discipline and a value on personal choices,” Vibol said.

However, Pich Phearak, a researcher focusing on feminism, said the trend of delaying marriage is happening among youth, yet it is vital not to generalize that this applies to the entire population across the country.

“The demographic report shows that women generally marry between the ages of 21 and 22, while men usually marry between 24 and 25, and this pattern has remained fairly stable. However, I recognize that there have been some changes in urban areas," Phararak said.

The researcher agreed that knowledge has changed young people’s perceptions of many issues, allowing them to see marriage as a choice rather than a necessity.

For Seanheng, although knowledge has influenced the mindset, financial pressure is still a significant factor that encourages many young people, particularly men, to delay marriage since they are ultimately responsible for dowry and wedding expenses.

“We have many financial struggles as the young generation because the value they place on marriage is more important than signing a marriage certificate,” he said. 

“Men are under a huge pressure. When our jobs are unstable, we are even more burdened. In general, they don’t know how long they can wait to save money until they have enough.” 

Financial struggles were anticipated after marriage for many young men. They had preconceived notions about significant spending on children, and this also influences young people's decisions.

“They are not ready to get married, so if they have more children, it will be even more difficult,” he said.

Phearak agreed that the social trend of lavish weddings still puts pressure on men, while setting a large dowry devalues women.

“The issue of wedding expenses and dowry should not be the primary concern. If we continue to regard dowry as a custom, it’s akin to treating women as objects,” Phararak said.

President of the Cambodian Institute for Democracy Pa Chanroeun said the public should rethink today's unnecessary marriage expenses to help ease financial pressure.

“We should change this mindset. Don’t spend too much that there is a debt about paying an installment to get a wife. After the wedding, they are the ones who have to go into debt and pay off for years,” Chanroeun said. 

More Personal Choice, Fewer Arranged Marriages

Another change that experts like Kong Vibol see is that young people seek to understand each other better before deciding to marry. This allows them to establish higher standards for their marriage partners' personalities.

“Men and women often define personality types that suit them. Some view family planning as complicated and equate it with a loss of freedom, making them feel unprepared,” Vibol said. 

Phearak agreed that young people’s ability to choose a partner and explore relationships reflects greater personal freedoms resulting from the rise of digital life and the internet.

“The new mindset is that age is not a factor in determining when to get married. I see a change in mindset among those who have grown up with social media. They see the world more broadly. Maybe we understand that in our countries, people live differently from us,” Phearak said.

Chanroeun noted that as individual choices have increased, the mindset and previous habits parents used to arrange marriages have also become less common.

“More parents now permit their children to choose their partners compared to the past,” he said. 

The Impact of Unpaid Care Work

While experts view the delay in marriage as a consequence of knowledge and social change, feminist researchers such as Phearak underscored the gender inequality within society that significantly impacts many women’s choices, particularly the burden of unpaid care work.

“Women are more concerned about the inequality among their partners. As I have observed, women often have to carry out unpaid care work, which is evident in our society. They consider the significant effort women invest when considering marriage,” Phearak said.

Phearak highlighted a topic that Cambodians seldom address directly: the mental load, or cognitive burden, tied to women’s many household responsibilities.

“Here, women have to encounter a mental load because they have to think about so many issues at once, aside from their work. After all, they can feel comfortable if they can be lucky to have good partners who can talk about this openly,” Phearak said.

Meanwhile, the issue of domestic violence also deters women from being careful when making decisions about getting married.

 “Intimate violence also plays a role. When it comes to violence, women are greatly affected by sexual, psychological, and physical violence,” she said.

Does Postponing Marriage Cause Social and Economic Issues?

The increase in the number of young people delaying marriage also raises concerns, especially the challenges that may arise from a decline in the population, which is the economy's driving force.

Although both early and late marriage remain debatable topics, experts and young people alike believe that it is not an issue. However, delaying marriage can be beneficial as it allows young people to avoid many life challenges and enables them to contribute to society more effectively.

Seangheng believed that the delay of marriage among young people has many positive effects on society, having more time to contribute and use their knowledge and skills to benefit society.

“If they delay marriage, they can become more involved in social development. Marrying at a young age brings new responsibilities and keeps us from engaging in social work," Seangheng explained.

“No one wants to get married and get divorced. So we must think holistically and maturely to help us better manage our families.”

In addition to agreeing that getting married too young carries a high risk of divorce, Vibol said taking time to develop themselves and work helps young people use their time to contirbute social development more quickly.

“When they get married, they will have responsibilities for themselves and their families. If they are prepared, they will become a responsible family with a clear plan and strong morals, allowing their children to lead better lives,” Vibol said, adding that when each family is more responsible and becomes prosperous, it will not burden society.

However, Vibol acknowledges that postponing marriage can have adverse effects, particularly on demographic factors, as it poses a risk to the reproductive health of individuals who marry later in life.

Pa Chanroeun of the Cambodian Institute for Democracy expressed similar concerns that Cambodia could experience a labor shortage like other developed countries, as the population is being replaced by an aging demographic that requires state support.

“According to the census report, we have about 40 percent of single people today. The birth rate will remain low, and in 20 years, our country will have a lot of elderly people,” 

However, Phearak disagreed with concerns about young people delaying marriage, arguing that it is unreasonable to view youth only from an economic perspective.

“If we view young people solely through the lens of reproduction and the economy, that is not right. We need to consider other aspects. We should focus on their knowledge, skills, and abilities to address economic challenges,” Phearak said.

Phearak further explained that rather than concentrating on reproduction, the crucial aspect is enhancing people’s quality of life and education, and facilitating access to decent jobs and fair wages.

“Now, young people face many problems and lack sufficient income. What if they don’t have a strong foundation and the necessary skills when they start a family? The burden will only become heavier,” she said. 

“So, instead of thinking only about increasing population to boost the economy, we should look at what we should do, try to fix the situation or solve the challenges of our people.”

Policy Intervention Is Needed to Promote Marriage

When asked about what the government should do at the policy level to encourage young people to marry, Phearak said the government should concentrate on policies that lessen the burden on young people, particularly unpaid care work.

She emphasized that advancing the principle of “parental leave after childbirth” without distinguishing between mothers and fathers who need to take time off to care for their children should be a fundamental objective.

Vibol similarly believed that the government should have specific policies to encourage people if it wants to solve the problem of postponing marriage.

“The policy of easing income tax for families could be a point we should consider,” Vibol said.

Chanroeun noted that in addition to easing income tax, the government can take other necessary measures to ease the burden on families and dependent children, such as reducing taxes on house purchases and developing key sectors.

“Whether in healthcare or education, state institutions need to be of high quality to support our people with family responsibilities,” he said. 

He added that the state's subsidy provision for affordable housing also promotes well-being and encourages people to start families.